I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
