All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
