PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
