They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I want a musical about memes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
