I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize