she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
