u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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