I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
