Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
