she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
