The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
