I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
