i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
