It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
