she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
