you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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