Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
