It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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