I didn't shave. On purpose
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
