hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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