Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
