I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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