okay pat passed out under dana's car
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
