I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
