Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
