I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
