i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
