Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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