um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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