I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
