he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
