Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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