just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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