May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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