He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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