She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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