Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
