My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
