Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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