McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
