What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize