Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
