I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
