shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
