we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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