Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize