The maid of honor just puked.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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