You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
