I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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