Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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