So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
