the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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