Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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