This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
