3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
