Where are you?
In a non slutty way
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize