just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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