i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
