I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
