I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
