My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize