Will you blow on my dice?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
