I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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