Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
