I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i am craving dick and cupcakes
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
