just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
