I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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