i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
