i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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