just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
