sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
